then he tried to convert me to islam
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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