Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
