nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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