Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
