I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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