i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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