i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
