WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
