don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
