Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
