Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
