You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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