im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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