i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
a search helicopter?!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
