So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
