someone get that fucking seahorse.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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