did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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