Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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