i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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