That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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