its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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