Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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