i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you made out with another girl for some wings
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
