this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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