five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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