it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
