I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My penis needs a shock collar
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
