My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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