Small penises have feelings too.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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