woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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