Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
