Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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