why didn't you poke me back
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
