I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
