Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
