Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
