There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He felt like a one man threesome
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
