Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
