Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
