Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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