Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
