dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize