Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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