you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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