Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!