I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Randomize
