Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
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He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize