he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
