Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
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Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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