i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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