I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
