My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Say something about gay babies.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
