I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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