oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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