Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
