yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
