Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What drink are we having for lunch?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize