apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
