i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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