guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
