I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
