Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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