i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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