The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
